Duties of The Groom and Best Man

It is a long-running joke when it comes to weddings. We picture the bride going in every direction and the groom is in the corner with glazed over eyes, looking shell-shocked. This is not the way it is supposed to be and in most weddings, it is not. 

Grooms and best men have responsibilities just as the bride and maid of honor do. They are involved and invested. We will highlight the basic duties of the groom and best man and give you a few tips to make your job easier. 

Grooms:

● Attire

It is the responsibility of the groom to buy or rent tuxedos or suits for the wedding. You will find ways to personalize the clothing to make the wedding part of your personal experience and personalized input. This might include mixing bright and colorful (think stripes) socks with your groomsmen formal wear. You can add vintage suspenders to a more casual suit, or go with a retro look. Of course, pass this by the bride first. But, it is your call. 

Tip: with this and all duties, begin early. Never wait until the last minute to do anything that can be done in advance. Six months before the wedding, begin. Everything should be complete, paid for, and ready 2-3 months before the wedding. 

● License and fees

It is the groom’s responsibility to acquire the marriage license and to pay the fees required by the officiant. The standard procedure is to give the envelope with a thank you note and the fee to the best man who will pass it on to the officiant after the ceremony.

● Rehearsal dinner

The groom (and his father) plans and hosts the rehearsal dinner (at their expense). This should be planned and announced with all vendors in place no later than 6-months before the event. 

● Flowers

The groom’s family is responsible for purchasing the corsages, boutonnieres, and the bridal bouquet. The bride usually chooses the flowers, but the payment and pick up is on the groom. 

● DJ & Music

This is also a duty assigned to the groom. He is expected to interview, hire, and arrange the musical presentation for the wedding and reception. 

● Groomsmen gifts

It is the tradition that the groomsmen receive a small thank you gift from the couple. The groom is responsible to buy the gifts.

Best Man:

The best man is not just someone who hands the groom the ring. He has other duties. They are as follows (unless changed by the groom):

● Personal assistant to the groom

● Arranges accommodations for groomsmen coming from out of town

● Arranges the bachelor party

● Is responsible to supervise other groomsmen (ensure all is in order in advance)

● Preparing the toast for the reception

Tip: if there are any subjects that are off-limits, explain them to the best man in advance. He may think something is funny that your bride finds tasteless. This being included in the toast can ruin the reception for the bride and her party. 

The groom may ask the best man to take care of other things. The couple will probably have a Honeyfund registry. This is a free registry that allows family and friends to gift the couple financially. The best man may monitor the account and let the groom know if changes need to be made and if there is any area that is lacking funds. If changes are made in the plans of the honeymoon, the best man might be asked to maintain the site. It is easy to do, but it is very important if the couple is depending on the funds for the honeymoon.