After Divorce How To Get Through Holidays

Holidays are normally the happiest time of the year. However, nothing kills the holiday cheer like the fresh residue of divorce. If you have been recently divorced or if your divorce is in its final stage, you may find holidays a bit depressing. Everyone around you will be laughing and feeling happy. Everyone, but you.

There are many things that you can do to “survive” the holidays with a happy face. Listed below are some tips that will help you enjoy every single day without thinking about the past.

If you think about getting divorced or if you require legal advice or representation, be sure to schedule a free initial consultation today. 

“Difficult, But Not Impossible”

The first step in dealing with any problem in your life is accepting the changes. It will seem as if you are unable to move on, but if you keep telling yourself the right things, you will find strength in and most likely enjoy the holidays without any negativity. One thing that you should always remember is that no matter how hard it is, it is not impossible to move on. Yes, it will be difficult and yes, there will be many things to remind you of your ex-spouse, but think of it like this – you are given a new opportunity to enjoy life and everything that it has to offer. 

Determine Boundaries:

As with every difficult transition in your life, you should set a few boundaries and be aware of things that you should do and things that you should not do.

Here are Dos and Don’ts that will help you move on.

Dos:

• Speak with your friends and family

• Get out of the home as much as possible

• Gather with your family members as frequently as you can

• Engage in different activities with your close ones (children, friends, family)

• Do something that you like (fishing, running, playing video games)

Don’ts:

• Do not invite your ex to any family gatherings (even though you had a tradition of meeting up once a year)

• Do not drink alcohol or use opium to try and make the pain go away

• Do not discover a “one-night stand”

Once you set the boundaries, it will be much easier to move on and enjoy the holidays.

Your Children Are Your “Safe Harbor”

If you have children, try and focus on mutual activities. They are also going through a rough period, and perhaps together you will be able to engage in different activities that will help you all forget about the pain, even for a brief moment. Keep in mind that your children will feel the consequences of your divorce and that they are not responsible for anything that has happened between you and your ex-spouse. Be a good parent, and make their holidays cheerful and brighter. They deserve it.

If your divorce is still not finalized, but you and your spouse are living apart, be sure to consult with our Divorce Attorneys in Salt Lake City as you will need help securing custody of your children. Do it before it is too late.

Time For New Traditions

Holidays are the right time of the year to start new traditions. That being said, you should think of something that you can do every year with your closest friends and relatives (excluding your ex). These traditions can be anything, from going on a field trip or going fishing, to barbecuing in the backyard.  Whatever you and your family enjoy doing, use the holidays to start new traditions and do something that you always wanted to do, but could not in the past. 

Things Will Only Get Easier

As you overcome one day at a time, remind yourself that things will only get easier as time passes by. This means that you will feel better about yourself, and more secure to start dating again (if that is what you desire). Eventually, the pain will go away and your past marriage will become a distant memory. The first few months (or even a few years) are the hardest ones because of all the memories that will remind you of your time spent together with your ex. But once you cross that bridge, it is an easy ride down that hill.

Create a “B” Plan

Eventually, you may feel blue and depressed. You may even reach out for your phone and try to contact your now-ex-spouse. That is a bad idea, as it will only make things worse. If you get a panic attack or start feeling like the house is suffocating you, have a friend that you can call to get you out of there. Let that friend now that you may require their help at one point, and tell them that you need to be able to count on them. It can also be a close family member, as long as it is someone that you can trust to help you overcome your problems. Remember that it is always better to have someone to talk to or leave the house with, than sitting alone and crying in the pillow.

Love Yourself

Your main goal is to focus on your general well-being and do things that will make you happy. Let our  Salt Lake City Divorce Attorneys handle all the things related to your divorce and its finalization while you take some time off. You need a break, and you need to learn to love yourself again. Go out with friends, grab something to eat, do things that used to make you happy, meet new people and make new friends. Surround yourself with people that will help you move on. There is no other way. And remember to enjoy the holidays to the fullest, and instead of grief and sadness, focus on finding happiness and prolonging it as much as possible.